Self-Regulation: Nature, nurture, or self-awareness?

Self regulation is a powerful skill for leaders. It starts with a deliberate examination of our personal values, beliefs and reactions to different opinions and experiences we observe in others.

Ultimately, it begins with self-awareness.

Consider for a moment your inner dialogue. Bring into awareness situations where anger, shame, or guilt have impeded results. Consider why you may be unwilling to let go of these emotions.

Consider whether these thoughts are serving you, or not.

Think about one limiting thought that you can reflect on right now. Explore for a moment the intelligence behind that thought or feeling. What is this thought trying to tell you?

Our negative thoughts and emotions can cause significant strain in our lives.

What decisions are you holding on to that have to do with the past, not the present? How is this impacting the people around you?

I am currently working with a team who is still upset and anxious due to layoffs that took place ten years ago. Ten years! Carrying that burden can be quite tasking on the team.

Poor transitions will derail trust and productivity over a long period of time. Awareness and open dialogue can unpack that burden.

How does silence impact your relationships at work?

How is avoiding the real issue impacting your team’s well being?

What can you start doing to self regulate and become more effective?

  • Take multiple breaks during the day to pause, connect to the present and to check in on your thoughts and feelings.
  • Recognize negative thoughts and inner parts that are hijacking your attention and sense of calm.
  • Identify what is true versus what you made up.
  • Connect to your goals for the day and repeat these steps (TRIC) every few of hours.
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