We once considered leadership coaching a segue to escort out a toxic or under-performing leader. Today, executive coaching is recognized as one of the most effective tools for development. Coaching has the power to increase your leadership influence, build self awareness and drive bottom-line results in a short period of time.
The advantages of coaching extend far beyond individual growth, casting a ripple effect that reverberates throughout the organization. Teams and culture also reap the rewards.
The character of a leader plays a pivotal role in shaping organizational culture and influencing decision making, collaboration, accountability and alignment. Without deliberate attention, a leader’s character can wither, resulting in flawed decision making, limited collaboration, waning commitment to change and, ultimately, falling short of goals.
In many cases, executive coaching may not get you the results you expect. I have personally witnessed coaching falter from the very start. I have also seen it veer off course midway with no clear signs of recovery.
With over two decades of experience coaching executives, I have identified three primary stumbling blocks that hinder the coaching process.
1. Lack Of Trust And Chemistry
Just like any relationship, the client-coach partnership relies on two crucial elements: trust and chemistry.
Trust in the coach’s competence and the integrity of the process serves as the foundation of a rewarding coaching experience. As the coach, I bear the responsibility of fostering psychological safety and ensuring that my clients feel at ease to share their challenges, without fear of judgment or a breach of confidentiality.
Simultaneously, you need to trust the coaching process. Some leaders exhibit reluctance to open up and disclose their thoughts to their coach, particularly when they perceive coaching as a form of punishment or retaliation, rather than a valuable opportunity for growth.
Addressing such hesitations is crucial. This process takes effort and time. Trust is the glue that binds the process together.
Not every coach and client will naturally match. At times, personality differences or incongruent expectations can hinder progress. Forcing a dynamic that lacks chemistry can lead to a contrived and unproductive coaching experience.
To ensure chemistry, you must feel in control of the decision to move forward. Make sure to schedule an introductory meeting where you meet the coach, discuss your style and define specific preferences, motivators and stressors. If you feel a connection is lacking, it is important that you have full autonomy to request a different coach. For example, if I hate to be pushed and thrive on exploration and learning, I may not be happy with a “quick-to-action” coach. Make your wants and needs clear.
2. Fuzzy Expectations
Unless you’re a seasoned coaching connoisseur, it’s easy to get lost in the hazy realm of what a coaching relationship is supposed to be like. Is it akin to therapy, counseling or mentoring? The answer is no. Coaching is a partnership. Think of it as having a partner to reflect with, bounce ideas off and gain invaluable insights and feedback from.
And here’s the catch: you can only reap the full benefits if you are willing to invest your energy and commitment into the partnership. It’s your responsibility to commit to the goldmine of resources you explore together.
Once the coaching alliance is established, it’s crucial to clearly articulate your purpose, goals and measures of success. Entering into this partnership without a solid destination in mind is like taking an enjoyable ride in circles; you stumble upon intriguing sights along the way, but you never quite reach your desired endpoint. Clarity will help you get to your dream destination.
If you were referred to a coach by your boss, the coach must plan a conversation with all three of you. I can’t overemphasize the importance of this conversation. Clarity around the purpose of coaching is a deal-breaker. Taking into account feedback from others can help you stay focused on your desired outcomes.
When I engage in a heart-to-heart conversation with my client, I need to be aware of their leadership shadow and their influence on others. It helps create a clear roadmap toward success and brings much-needed clarity into the process. Do not assume the goals; seek them out.
In the world of coaching, clarity is the secret sauce that transforms a wandering stroll into an intentional walk toward mutual purpose.
3. Ego And Blind Spots
Embarking on a coaching journey is like stepping into a realm of blind spots. After all, if we had all the answers, there would be no need for coaching. Beyond our blind spots lies one gift: self-awareness. It’s a gift that most clients embrace with open arms, while some stubbornly deny its existence.
For coaching to work, you must explore how your thoughts, emotions and actions shape your results. When you dismiss the perspectives of others, awareness comes to a screeching halt. No amount of coaching can illuminate what you stubbornly refuse to acknowledge. It’s in those moments, when denial negates what is, that your inner child persists, and toxic cultures start to fester.
Similarly, the ego of the coach can overshadow the process. Coaching is not merely a science; it’s a captivating art form. It’s not about me, the coach. It’s about my client’s journey. To support my client, I must embody vulnerability—a willingness to facilitate their acceptance of feedback, to hold them accountable and to help them take ownership of their actions. Their actions are not mine to claim. They are the brushstrokes of their own canvas.
Ultimately, the true measure of success in coaching lies in your desire to reflect, embrace challenges, learn from insights and sculpt your path to your finest version. It is your desire to grow that sets the wheels of transformation in motion.
I believe coaching is a priceless investment—it has the power to unlock and amplify your hidden potential. Be mindful of the hidden pitfalls, and address them early on. Allow coaching to unfurl your wings and carry you to new heights.
This article was published on Forbes.com.